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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25683499">Rising from the Ashes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/IveDoneMyWaiting/pseuds/IveDoneMyWaiting'>IveDoneMyWaiting</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abusive Dursley Family (Harry Potter), Angst, Baby Teddy Lupin, Boys In Love, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Endgame Drarry, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Falling In Love, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, Food Issues, Harry Potter Raises Teddy Lupin, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-War, Survivor Guilt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:08:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,652</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25683499</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/IveDoneMyWaiting/pseuds/IveDoneMyWaiting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After finishing his NEWTS, Harry is trying to juggle completing his Auror training and raising Teddy Lupin with the help of Andromeda. He's exhausted and having nightmares and never really eats, but Grimmauld is renovated and cheerful, and as long as Harry keeps everything perfect for Teddy, nothing else really matters. Harry is determined to give him the childhood he never had. Hermione and Ron are worried about him, but well...they're always worried. The only person Harry really feels like he can be himself around is Charlie...but what happens when their weekly movie nights and Charlie always helping out with Teddy begins to turn into something more? And how does Draco Malfoy, now also a part of Teddy's life, fit into all of this? It all becomes so much more than Harry expected, and Harry is so tired of fighting. Luckily, Harry's always had people worth fighting for.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Harry Potter/Charlie Weasley, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Neville Longbottom/Blaise Zabini, Pansy Parkinson/Ginny Weasley, Seamus Finnigan/Dean Thomas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>106</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Harry spoons the last of the mushed peas into Teddy’s mouth, smiling tiredly as the baby happily coos up at him, hair flashing bright pink.</p><p>“There you go, bear,” he murmurs, wiping any remaining green smudges gently off of Ted’s plump chin. Teddy grips onto Harry’s finger with such intensity, as he stares up at Harry with his matching mini green eyes, it’s almost as if the baby can sense how desperately alone Harry feels.</p><p>Harry brushes the thought away as he tickles Teddy’s tummy, making him burst into giggles, and cradles the baby into his chest. “Who’s ready for a bath, huh?”</p><p>“Ba!” Teddy pronounces proudly. </p><p>“That’s right,” Harry says, ruffling his hair. “Bath. Who’s my smart bear?”</p><p>“Ba!” Teddy says again, beaming up at Harry. </p><p>Harry puts Teddy into his rocking glider that he had spelled to rock according to Teddy’s mood. He was probably a little big for it now, a little over a year and a half old, but Teddy could sit in that glider for hours, contentedly rocking while Harry worked on reports, so Harry just <i>engorgio</i>-ed it when it got too small. Muggles definitely had the best baby supplies, but there were some advantages to being a wizard, after all.</p><p>Harry also knew it was way past time to start bathing Teddy in the proper bathtub, instead of the sink. The first time Andromeda had been around for bathtime, she had teased him about it endlessly. It was just that… Teddy was so small… and the tub was so big… and Harry was always afraid he would drop him. He never wanted Teddy to be afraid of the water. Which is why, every other weekend, when the weather is nice – especially now, just at the beginning of July, the heat of summer in full bloom - he and Teddy go to the beach. Harry never got to go as a child, he never properly learned how to swim. Teddy, he promised himself, would learn how to swim. They spent hours at the beach, and Teddy loved the water, wearing little duck floaties and an inner tube Harry had spelled to make just his size. Harry found something so peaceful about watching Teddy in his little sunhat, playing in the sand…the other day, he just started to figure out how a sand castle mold worked, and demanded Harry build him a castle. </p><p>“Ho!” Teddy had shouted excitedly. “Ho!” Harry felt an unexpected ache in his chest. Home. Teddy knew, somehow, what home was.</p><p>So, for now, baths in the sink it was. Harry <i>Scourgify</i>-ed the sink to make sure it was clean, and charmed the water to remain a warm temperature, filling it up with bubbles of all different sizes and colors. Teddy squealed in excitement as Harry lifted him into the bath, splashing and gurling as Harry washed him gently and shampooed his hair. Each night, by the end, Harry was soaking, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. </p><p>Harry pushed back his pounding headache as he dressed Teddy in his fuzzy footsie pajamas and brushed his teeth, turning on his night lamps and getting him ready for bed. They had recently moved him out of his crib and into a proper bed: Teddy hadn’t liked being contained, something Harry understood all too well. Teddy’s night lamp was Harry’s favorite: it was charmed to show the constellations, and it gave Harry comfort to know Sirius watched over Teddy while he slept.</p><p>Every night, he and Teddy play the following game: Harry tucks Teddy into bed, kisses him goodnight, says, “I love you my Teddy Bear”, and goes to turn off the lights. Harry isn’t really intending to leave, they still have to read their bedtime story, but nothing gives him more joy than the indignation in Teddy’s little voice each night, as if he couldn’t believe Harry would possibly forget. Harry turns to leave the room, and walks ever so slowly to the door, and without fail, hears behind him, “Boo!”</p><p>“Did I forget something?” Harry asks, turning around, feigning confusion.</p><p>“Boo!” Teddy says exasperatedly, sitting up on his pillows.</p><p>“You want your bedtime story?” Harry asks, a smile spreading over his lips.</p><p>“Boo!” Teddy says again, cheering this time.</p><p>“Well we can’t go to bed without a bedtime story, now can we,” Harry says, as he picks out a book from Teddy’s bookshelf, and goes to snuggle in Teddy’s bed, putting Teddy on his lap as the toddler’s hair turns bright pink with excitement. Teddy’s room is filled with toys and books, and Harry makes sure not to spoil him too much: he remembers what happened with Dudley, but he never wants Teddy to ever need anything. And just then, with the warm weight of Teddy’s head on his chest, he thinks, that just maybe, everything might be okay.</p><p>When he finally finishes the story and gets Teddy bundled off to sleep, door left open just a crack and wand monitor set to alert him to any movement or noise, Harry trundles downstairs. It’s then, as he takes in the kitchen, with the remnants of Teddy’s dinner and bath, that he realizes just how exhausted he is. His headache comes back full force, and he sways on his feet. His nightmares have eased a bit, going back to finish his NEWTS had certainly helped him regain some normalcy but – Harry never really slept. When he did, it was always fitfully, and he woke always feeling more anxious than when he fell asleep.</p><p>Andromeda had generously looked after Teddy while Harry finished his schooling, but once he was out, they had agreed to split the time, her and Molly looking after him in the day while Harry had Auror training, and Harry taking him in the evenings after work and on weekends. Harry could tell it was starting to wear on her though…as much as she tried to hide it. Andromeda had lost so much, and right now, she deserved time to rest. Just this past week, Harry had brought up the idea of taking full guardianship. Harry didn’t deny it scared the shit out of him but – Lupin and Tonks trusted him to look after and love Teddy. It was his responsibility. He just needed to find someone to look after him during the day…</p><p>Harry sighed, collapsing onto the couch. It wasn’t that he had to work. Merlin knows financially he didn’t need it. But there was something in him, this nervous, anxious, consuming pressure – always telling him to do something – and working helped. It wasn’t as if the Aurors was his dream job, really, but – it made him better with Teddy. He knew it did. Easier to be around at the end of the day. Less irritable, less likely to be constantly on edge, looking for danger. He didn’t want Teddy’s childhood to be like his.  </p><p>He rubbed his head, trying to cut through the sickening pounding ramming into his skull. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d eaten, but for the life of him, couldn’t summon the energy to get off the couch. This is when the invasive thoughts start creeping in. <i>You’re failing, Harry. You were never cut out to be a parent. Who would want to be raised by a freak like you</i> –</p><p>He disrupts the train of thought with a harsh wave of his wand, spelling the mess in the kitchen to begin cleaning itself. To everyone’s surprise, he had put a lot of effort in refurbishing Grimmauld after the war, banishing all the darkness, instead making each room cheery and homey. The house itself was always immaculate. Hermione liked to joke that if she only knew it took a kid to make Harry this organized… Harry needed this to be a place Teddy felt safe and loved in. He needed everything to be perfect. For Teddy.</p><p>He knew everyone worried about him. He knew they thought he wasn’t taking care of himself, pitching all of his effort into work and looking after Teddy – he could hear it in the whispers at Sunday dinners and the sidelong anxious glances from Hermione, the way Hermione and Ron often randomly popped by to visit. But he didn’t need – he had spent his whole life taking care of others. This wasn’t any different.</p><p>Harry takes several deep breaths, trying to calm the roiling in his stomach. He spells a fire into the fireplace and summons a bottle of Firewhiskey and a glass, settling himself under the blanket. The warmth of the Firewhiskey cuts through some of the noise in his head, and he allows himself to relax, just a little. He isn’t sure how long he sits there, staring into the fire, trying to soak in some sense of numbness, when he hears the rush of his Floo, as if from far away.</p><p>“You look like shite, mate.”</p><p>Harry looks up to see Charlie Weasley standing in his living room, all broad muscles and tattoos, barely contained by his thin cotton t-shirt. Despite the hardness of Charlie’s exterior, Harry knows him to be kind, caring, solid. It warms Harry more than the Firewhiskey to se Charlie standing there, smiling at him. </p><p>
  <i>Charlie had stayed after the war for Fred’s funeral and never left. Harry asked him once why he hadn’t gone back to Romania and he had simply shrugged and said, “I’m needed here”. He was the first one to notice Harry’s nightmares; his overwhelming guilt at being at the Burrow; the first one to say, ‘you’re still part of the family’ when Harry and Ginny realized they didn’t fit anymore; Charlie seemed to understand Harry’s constant need to help, to do something. His feeling sometimes that just being in a room was suffocating and Harry couldn’t breathe. Charlie saw, and Charlie helped him breathe. Charlie was there, sitting by his bed with a glass of water when Harry woke up screaming from nightmares he couldn’t bear to describe. No questions, no pressing. Just present. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Charlie didn’t bat an eye when Harry had first asked him how he’d known he was interested in men, and instead helped Harry get dressed, and brought him to a Muggle club. Helped Harry get his first pull. Didn’t ask questions when suddenly the touching got too much, too much - Harry and Ginny never had time for much, really - and sent Harry spiraling into a panic attack. Instead, brought Harry back to Grimmauld Place, and waited with him until it was over. Harry remembered Charlie sitting down on the floor with him, leaning against the bathroom cabinet. Charlie had looked beautiful that night, in a fit white t-shirt and black jeans. They sat there for a long time in silence, as Harry’s breathing gradually slowed. Charlie gently took his hand, rubbing slow circles with his thumb up and down Harry’s palm. It was something Harry had never felt before. An electric shock. Charlie looked at Harry intently with those deep blue eyes, so bottomless Harry felt like he could drown in them.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Harry”, he had said. His voice low, warm, rough. Safe. Harry felt safe. Charlie smelt of cigarette smoke and sandalwood and something with a hint of musk to it, and it made Harry want to lean in closer, to envelop himself in it, to bury his face in the crook of Charlie’s neck where the inky black tip of the Hungarian Horntail tattoo that traced all the way down Charlie’s spine peeked out ever so slightly. But Harry mustn’t. This was – Charlie. Ron’s brother. And Charlie was… Charlie was…. Charlie was something Harry didn’t deserve. So he looked away and closed his eyes, but let Charlie keep running his thumb in gentle circles up and down his palm. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Harry, look at me,” Charlie said gently. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Harry couldn’t, couldn’t look into those eyes and see the pity that would be there.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I’m sorry,” he whispered, instead, feeling tears press hot beneath his eyelids.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Charlie’s calloused fingers reached up and turned Harry’s face towards his, Harry flinching back at first but then relaxing into the soft touch that stayed there, gentle but firm.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Look at me, Harry.” Serious now. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Harry reluctantly opens his eyes to see Charlie facing him, surprised to find no pity there … something else, maybe… sadness? Harry couldn’t tell.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“You have nothing to apologize for, Harry.” Harry begins to interrupt but Charlie places a finger on his lips, quieting him.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“It is okay to ask for what you need. No one should ever – you should always ask for what you need. Okay?”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Harry can’t explain the sudden rush of tears down his cheeks, but he doesn’t need to. Charlie doesn’t press. They just sit there together, for a long time, Charlie rubbing circles into Harry’s palm. Harry begins to appreciate Charlie’s steady, dependable, kind presence.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>They start writing to each other throughout Harry’s year at Hogwarts, Charlie even coming up to Hogsmeade a few times. Charlie is the only one Harry tells about going out with Lee Jordan, about his first time, how Lee made him feel safe, how it was good. Charlie had told him he was glad. “You deserve it, Harry.”</i>
</p><p><i>Most of all, Charlie understood Harry’s need to look after Teddy. And he’s good with Teddy too, always coming by to visit, keeping Teddy occupied for an hour when Harry finally runs himself so ragged he can barely keep his eyes open. Still, Harry couldn’t help but feel like a burden. Someone else Charlie has to look after.</i>  </p><p>Harry tips the bottle of Firewhiskey at Charlie. “Yeah, well, not all of us can afford to go chasing around dragons for a living, now can we?</p><p>Charlie’s grin broadens. “I brought takeout.”</p><p>“Cheeky Nandos?”</p><p>“It’s Thursday, isn’t it? Shove over.” Charlie sprawls on the couch, pulling out the takeout as he does so.</p><p>“Well, what are we watching?” Charlie’s eyes gleam with excitement. Harry laughs. He’d introduced Charlie to Muggle cinema on accident, but Charlie was more obsessed than Mr. Weasley, he couldn’t believe how action packed the films could be. It’s somehow…refreshing to watch something that’s so removed from their world, that takes Harry out of the images of violence constantly playing inside his own head.</p><p>Harry grins as he pops in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. “I think you’re gonna like this one.”</p><p>He would never admit it, but sometimes he liked watching Charlie watch the films more than the films themselves… The way his eyes lit up when he laughed…</p><p>Harry didn’t even realize how hungry he was until he takes his first bite of the Nandos Charlie passed him. His body aches in relief, he instantly feels his headache lessen. He looks over to see Charlie watching him closely.</p><p>“First thing you’ve eaten today?”</p><p>Harry shifts in his seat. “Charlie…” he warns.</p><p>Charlie holds up his hands in surrender. “Alright, I’ll leave it. I’m just saying, it doesn’t do Teddy much good if you run yourself into the ground, does it?”</p><p>But true to his word, Charlie doesn’t pester him any more after that, and they talk about Harry’s training, Charlie helping George get back on his feet… Harry doesn’t even notice his eyes getting heavier and heavier, as Charlie gently strokes back Harry’s curls, and the last thing Harry remembers is the scent of sandalwood right up against his cheek.</p><p>Charlie watches Harry sleep for several long minutes, Harry’s head buried into the crook of Charlie’s shoulder. Harry had slowly drooped onto him without even realizing it, so his entire slight frame was now cuddled against Charlie’s. Charlie loves how much younger Harry looks like this, when he’s first dropped off to sleep, before the nightmares come. Harry liked to talk himself out of sleep – quite literally talking to Charlie even as he can’t keep his eyes open – Charlie casts a tempus and realizes it’s already two in the morning. Harry won’t be getting enough sleep even if he can sleep through the night. Charlie looks at the exhaustion lined all over Harry’s face, and his heart aches. He wishes he could take him up to bed and wrap his arms around him and keep him safe from everything that had ever hurt him. There was so much about Harry Charlie still did not know. But even though Harry had never explicitly told him, Charlie knows he feels safer sleeping down here on the couch, like he can keep an eye on everything, protect Teddy, in spite of the reinstated Fidelius charm around the place. Charlie wishes he knew how to tell Harry it was okay to let go, just for a minute. It would be so easy to fall asleep here, like this, arm around Harry but… Harry told him once he didn’t like to share beds, not with anyone he didn’t really know. He never even spent the night with Lee. It was one of the reasons… Anyways, Charlie didn’t know if he counted as one of those people for Harry, and even if he did… he wanted it to be something Harry <i>wanted</i>.</p><p>With a deep sigh, Charlie leans forward and inhales the scent of those curls he loves so much. Harry smells of lemon, and honey, and a little bit of lavender. Charlie could almost taste it. Ever so gently, so as not to wake Harry, he presses a soft kiss into his hair, and he swears he can feel the younger man lean into his touch. Charlie shakes himself out of it, and extracts his arm from around Harry, taking off Harry’s shoes and placing Harry’s head onto a pillow, before draping a blanket over him and setting his wand and glasses near his head on the coffee table. He transfigures the armchair into a camp bed, sets his own alarm for when Harry needs to be up for work – even though he know Harry won’t sleep that long – and checks the monitor for Teddy. <i>Goodnight, Harry</i>, he whispers. It’s time for him, too, to sleep.</p><p>Harry isn’t sure which nightmare comes first. He sees Cedric, and the flash of green light, and Cedric lying dead on the ground. Wormtail cutting his arm open. Voldemort casting Crucio as Harry just wanted to black out, wanted it to end, wanted to die – the ghosts of his parents. Sirius, falling through the veil. Harry’s fault. Because Voldemort was inside of him. Because Harry was a Horcrux. The Inferi. The lake. The potion. Dumbledore falling off the Astronomy tower. His mother screaming. Nagini, in Godric’s Hollow. Fred, dead on the floor. Lupin and Tonks, dead, because of him. The Forest. The Resurrection Stone. His parents – oh god, he just wanted to touch them, they were so close – King’s Cross. The train. How Harry had died, and he still felt like Voldemort took a piece of him that he’ll never get back. Hermione, screaming. His mother, screaming. And Harry couldn’t save them –</p><p>Charlie woke to Harry’s screams almost immediately. Harry insisted on casting a Silencing Charm so as not to wake Ted, but Charlie always stayed within range. Tears pour down Harry’s face as he writhes in the sheets, face contorted in complete agony. Charlie knows everyone has nightmares. They all do. But none of theirs are as bad as Harry’s. Harry is screaming but Charlie couldn’t make out what he’s saying, and he knows from experience not to touch Harry when he was like this. He casts a Tempus. Only 6:00. Dammit. He tries shouting his name, pleading with him to wake up, but Harry won’t wake, and he doesn’t  know what else to do. He points his wand at Harry. <i>Enervate</i>.</p><p>Blind panic seizes Harry as he wakes, screaming, thrashing, unsure where he is, all he knows is he has to save them, he has to make sure they were safe –</p><p>“Harry! It’s me, it’s Charlie. You’re home. You’re safe. Everyone’s safe. I promise.” </p><p>The images flash through Harry’s mind over and over – Sirius. Cedric. Remus. Tonks. Fred. Colin. Dumbledore. His parents. Harry is sobbing now, he can’t breathe, he can’t get in enough air – but – Teddy – he needs to get to Teddy.</p><p>“Teddy’s fine, Harry. He’s sleeping. He’s just upstairs. You’re okay.” Charlie sits on the edge of the couch now, careful still not to touch. “Breathe, Harry. Just breathe with me. I promise you’re safe.”</p><p>But Harry can’t breathe. It’s too much. His skin is on fire and his head is splitting open and what if Voldemort is still inside of him, causing this, right now? He tries to close his eyes to stop the images but they just flash faster and faster, mocking him, and Harry begins to tear at his hair, rocking back and forth. It takes all of Charlie’s self control not to grab his wrists and stop him from hurting himself.</p><p>The two men are so focused on what’s in front of them that neither of them have noticed Draco Malfoy standing in front of the floo, mouth hanging slightly ajar.</p><p>When Draco left Andromeda’s this morning after agreeing to watch Teddy for the day, the last thing he expected when he stepped through the Floo to Grimmauld Place was to see Charlie Weasley coaxing Potter out of one of the worst nightmares he had ever seen. Draco has his fair share of nightmares, but none like this. None that left him so crippled by fear, he couldn’t move. And for the first time, Draco realized he likely knew but a fraction of the horrors stored inside Potter’s head. And looking at those haunted green eyes, Draco’s heart broke for this man who had suffered so much, and should now be able live in peace.</p><p>They had found an unlikely friendship, after the War. Nothing close to what Draco would have really desired, of course, but – a bond forged out of having both gone through some pretty horrible shit. They found camaraderie in each other’s hatred of loud crowds and big spaces. And then there was Teddy, and well…Draco hadn’t expected to like kids, but Teddy wasn’t just any kid. And Harry was the biggest natural Draco had ever seen. He looked at Teddy like he held the answer to all the world’s problems, and Draco didn’t even know it was possible to be looked at like that, by anyone.</p><p>“Couldn’t save them”, Harry was saying now, over and over, as he rocked back and forth. “All my fault. Couldn’t save them.” He didn’t seem to know where he was, lost in a haze of memories and pain so deep Draco couldn’t see a way out.</p><p>Draco must have made a noise then, because green eyes flashed to his, and Draco saw the panic in Potter’s face heighten.</p><p>“Dromeda –“ Potter managed, breathing faster still. Oh god, Potter thought he was here because something had happened to –</p><p>“No, Potter,” Draco cuts in smoothly. “Andromeda’s fine, just has a cold. Asked if I would look after Teddy for the day.”</p><p>Draco wasn’t sure if Potter even heard him, as he got dragged back down into whatever deluge of memories was currently assaulting him. </p><p>“Harry –“, Charlie pleads, with a tinge of desperation. He looks up at Draco. “Teddy usually doesn’t wake up until 7:30 or so. You can help yourself to tea or coffee in the kitchen.”</p><p>Draco nods, realizing belatedly his intrusion on the intimacy before him. He wonders why Charlie knows Teddy’s morning schedule so well…and then wonders why that bothers him. Why is Charlie Weasley in Harry Potter’s sitting room at six in the morning? He had seen the second bed but…they looked awfully…cozy…  but Potter wasn’t gay… surely he would know…</p><p>He’s interrupted in his musings by Charlie’s voice heading towards the kitchen. “Harry, I’m just going to try and find you a Calming Draught.” </p><p>With relief, Draco realizes he can help; he carries his own brew with him for these exact occasions. Potter isn’t the only one the war left traumatized, a lot of his friends use it too. </p><p>Draco intercepts Charlie in the doorway. “Here,” he says, pressing a vial into his hand. Charlie looks at it with suspicion. “Calming Draught. It’s mine, I brewed it.”</p><p>Charlie doesn’t waste any more time, and Draco is hot on his heels. Charlie is on his knees beside Harry in any instant. “Harry,” Charlie murmurs gently, touching his arm. Harry sees the vial and turns white as a sheet. Something about it terrifies him, it doesn’t make sense to Draco.</p><p>“Charlie, please, no,” Harry pleads. He’s scrabbling backwards on the couch, trying to get away from Charlie. “You know I don’t take Dreamless Sleep, you know I can’t, please don’t make me - “</p><p>“Harry it’s just a Calming Draught,” Charlie soothes. “Just something to help.”</p><p>“I made it,” Draco adds. ”It’s not Dreamless Sleep, Potter. I promise.”</p><p>Harry takes a shaky breath, eyes flitting wildly between Draco and Charlie. Then, he holds out his hand, and Charlie helps him tip the vial down his throat. The potion takes effect almost instantly, and Draco can see some of the blinding, crushing panic leave Potter’s body. Potter crumples in on himself, looking horrified.</p><p>“Oh gods,” he chokes. “I’m so s-s-sorry Charlie.” And Harry is weeping now, grief and anguish and shame pouring off of him, and Draco can’t hear everything he’s muttering to himself, but he catches “freak” and “fault” and “Teddy”. Potter. This man saved everyone, and he – </p><p>Charlie doesn’t hesitate this time, he wraps his arms around Harry and Harry buries his face in Charlie’s chest. <i>“Shhh Harry shhh…it’s alright, darling…I’m not going to let anything happen to you…I’m right here…I’ve got you…”</i></p><p>The way Charlie calls Harry ‘darling’ makes Draco’s chest catch. It’s as if Charlie didn’t even realize it, as if the endearment just slipped off his tongue in the heat of the moment… and once again, Draco is watching something he’d rather not see.</p><p>Just then, the monitor on Harry’s wand buzzes, signifying Teddy’s awake. Harry bolts upright, almost frantically, desperate to get to Teddy.</p><p>“I need to – “ Harry protests, as Charlie pushes him back to sitting. </p><p>“I’ll get Teddy,” says Draco quietly. Harry looks at him for a long moment, then nods, shoulders slumping almost as if in defeat. </p><p>Draco climbs the stairs quickly, wanting to leave the sight of Charlie getting Harry up to bed far behind him. </p><p>In the living room, Charlie’s tone brooks no argument. “You need to go back to bed.” He lifts Harry up in his arms and carries him up to his bedroom, laying him gently into bed. Harry is too tired to do anything except lean into Charlie’s warm chest, tears sliding down his cheeks.</p><p>Draco finds Teddy barely awake, squirming unhappily in the covers. “Hey, Teds,” he says, but the little boy’s hair turns a shade of grey and he just pouts.</p><p>“You don’t want to be awake either, huh?” As Draco lifts Teddy up from his bed, he realizes his mistake. Harry’s bedroom is right next to Teddy’s and he can hear everything happening on the other side of the wall. Charlie quietly comforting Harry, shushing away Harry’s apologies… Draco imagines being the one to soothe Harry, gently petting his hair…. He pushes it aside, focusing on Teddy. The boy squirms out of Draco’s grasp, giving a tired cry, fat tears beginning to run down his cheeks.</p><p>“Hey, what’s wrong?”</p><p>“Da!”, says Teddy miserably. </p><p>“You want your Da?” Draco asks, bouncing him on his knee. “What about a story instead?”</p><p>“Da!” Teddy insists, more tears running down his cheeks. </p><p>“Alright,” Draco sighs, kissing Teddy’s head. “I’ll take you to Harry. But let’s change your diaper first.” He hears, from the other side of the wall,</p><p>“Do you want to talk about it?”</p><p>“Charlie?” Harry whispers, on the edge of sleep, clearly battling with himself over something.</p><p>“What is it?” Charlie asks gently.</p><p>“I – nothing.”</p><p>“Harry. You know I’ll – just tell me.”</p><p>“Can you – can you stay with me until I fall asleep?”</p><p>Something in Charlie’s throat catches. “Always.”</p><p>Draco feels something inside him burn hot and angry, but he couldn’t be…he wasn’t… he couldn’t be jealous. He didn’t have…feelings…for Potter. Not anymore anyway. Teddy whines about being left on the changing table too long, and Draco snaps back to the present, soothing him.</p><p>As Draco brings Teddy into Potter’s room, he finds Charlie sitting on the edge of Potter’s bed, looking softer than Draco had ever seen him. Charlie was looking at Potter as if Potter was the sun, and – if they weren’t in a relationship already, Draco was certain it wasn’t for a lack of feelings on Charlie’s part. Harry still looked tormented, even in his sleep, and Draco couldn’t help another rush of feelings towards the man. Teddy whined softly, and the spell was broken, Charlie standing up suddenly and staring at Draco.</p><p>“Sorry,” Draco says softly. “Teddy won’t stop asking for him.”</p><p>“S’alright,” Charlie says, “Harry will probably sleep better with him anyways.” Charlie scoops Teddy out of Draco’s arms and nestles him into Harry’s chest, Teddy cooing happily, as if this is what he had wanted all along. Potter instinctively curves in around Teddy, head tucking around his and arms holding the toddler in a loose embrace. It isn’t long before Teddy is fast asleep. The two men watch the sleeping figures for a moment, then Charlie casts a silencing charm on Harry, and a shield charm on Teddy.</p><p>Draco looks at him oddly. “Harry insists on it,” Charlie explains softly. Draco adds it to the growing list of things he doesn’t know about Potter. Suddenly, the dragon tamer also looks exhausted. </p><p>“Well, since you’re here, you want that cup of tea?”</p><p>A cup of tea with Charlie Weasley? This morning couldn’t get any weirder.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Shards</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Draco and Charlie have a conversation, Harry deals with some dishes, and Draco has a realization.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Draco follows Charlie into the kitchen, and the first thing he notices is how at ease Charlie looks. Domestic. He knows where everything is, setting a kettle to boil and two mugs from the cupboard, one that was bright blue and proclaimed in flashing letters “BEST ASS DRAGON TAMER”. Draco looks down at the mug and back at Charlie and Charlie grins.</p>
<p>“A gift from the twins,” he explains. “Who was I to tell them otherwise?”</p>
<p>Charlie Weasley was, indisputably, gifted with a fine ass. Calling it the best, Draco thought, might be overkill. Potter’s, on the other hand…</p>
<p>Draco takes a sip of steaming liquid to stem that line of thought. Charlie also, Draco notes bitterly, knows how to make a damn good cuppa. Draco sighs inwardly, trying to repress mental images of Potter and Charlie spending lazy Saturday mornings together. He tells himself he doesn’t care. He really doesn’t.</p>
<p>“You hungry? I was going to whip up some bacon for Harry anyways.”</p>
<p>Draco arches an elegant eyebrow and Charlie has the decency to look embarrassed.</p>
<p>“It’s not – I don’t – it’s just that Harry never eats in the mornings, and it seems like he could use a decent bacon sandwich, is all,” Charlie finishes in a rush, suddenly looking as if he doesn’t know what to do with his hands.</p>
<p>Interesting. One mention of intimacy with Harry Potter turns the giant dragon tamer into a stammering mess. Draco files that piece of information away for further reflection.</p>
<p>“Potter doesn’t happen to own yoghurt, does he?” Draco drawls, heightening his accent a bit while he has the upper hand.</p>
<p>Charlie laughs. “Harry? Unless you’re looking for kid’s yoghurt, not bloody likely. The man’s not exactly a paragon of health, unless it’s where Teddy’s concerned.”</p>
<p>“I suppose I can make do with toast then, if you’re offering.”</p>
<p>That’s when Draco looked at the kitchen. Really looked. And what he saw was so at odds with everything he assumed Potter to be that for a moment he thought his eyes might be deceiving him. He blinks and looks again. The kitchen is utterly spotless, with a massive planner enlarged to cover almost an entire wall, color coded meticulously with different colored sticky notes. Meals, bathtimes, playdates, all planned out to precision. What was odd, Draco realized, is it all had to do with Teddy. There was no mention of Harry at all. Draco supposed he might keep a separate one for himself, but still… On the counter opposite, stranger still. Snacks, organized in order from most healthy to least, were preplaced in child size containers. The fridge was filled with everything a baby could possibly desire, again organized with some kind of meticulous organization system that made no sense to Draco, but couldn’t be further from the haphazard, fly by the seat of his pants teen he knew from school. He looks back to Charlie who just nods.</p>
<p>“It takes some time to get used to,” he says, recognizing Draco’s bewilderment.</p>
<p>“I just didn’t expect him to be so…” Draco trails off, taking it all in.</p>
<p>“Anal?” Charlie smirks, his lips quirking slightly.</p>
<p>“Organized,” Draco responds coolly, lifting an eyebrow.</p>
<p>He opens the fridge again, looking back inside. “This is tits full of food for Teddy, but where is Potter’s garbage? What does he eat?”</p>
<p>Charlie spreads butter and jam on Draco’s toast, setting it down on the counter for him as he checks the bacon. He sighs, settling himself up on the counter. Draco notes how dwarfed everything looks around him, like an adult on a child’s play set.</p>
<p>“The question isn't what he eats, but if he eats” Charlie says slowly, a heavy sadness weighing down on his features.</p>
<p>Draco looks at him blankly. Why wouldn’t Potter be eating?</p>
<p>“He just forgets. At least, that’s what he always tells me. I know he didn’t really…” Charlie trails off. “And anyway, it seems like there’s something… but, I don’t know. So I try to bring food around when I can.”</p>
<p>Draco sits on one of the stools and thoughtfully bites into his toast. Dammit. Even the jam was good, blackberry, but not too sweet. He doesn’t like the idea of Potter not eating…he’s already too thin, muscular, but his clothes always seemed to hang off him… it leaves a bad taste in Draco’s mouth.</p>
<p>“I can help,” he offers. Charlie looks at him with surprise. “You know, since I’ll be here from time to time to look after Teddy, anyway. Try to make sure when I'm here to stay through mealtimes, make sure he’s taking care of himself, that sort of thing.”</p>
<p>Charlie looks at him oddly. “You really are pretty decent, Malfoy.”</p>
<p>Draco feels a slight blush heat his cheeks. “I owe Potter a favor, so.”</p>
<p>Charlie moves to take the bacon out of the oven. “Well I certainly appreciate it. He just didn’t deserve to go through all of this shite, you know?”</p>
<p>Draco wishes he didn’t hear the pain evident in the dragon tamer’s voice, the clear and irrefutable proof for his love for stupid Potter, because then Draco wouldn’t have to recognize that he’s feeling the same way, that he wants nothing more to cup Harry’s face in his hands and hold him close and keep him safe until all his darkness goes away.</p>
<p>But before Draco can respond, they’re interrupted by shouting from above, mangled and raw and intermixed with sobs, and Draco startles from his seat. Potter. He must have broken through the Silencing Charm, somehow. Bloody hell. Draco doesn’t even want to think about the sort of visions that may have caused such a strong surge in Potter’s magic, and suddenly he doesn’t feel very hungry anymore. The charm on Teddy remains quiet, so somehow the baby must have slept through Potter’s screams. Draco wonders absent mindedly just how much of himself Potter is breaking into pieces for Teddy’s sake, when a loud thumping disrupts his thoughts. He looks up to see Charlie kicking the kitchen cabinets over and over, having cast a tempus to find Potter only managed another thirty minutes sleep. He looks distraught.</p>
<p>“Weasley,” Draco says calmly, wondering if he needs to physically intervene for the cabinets’ sake. “You’re exhausted.”</p>
<p>Charlie looks up, eyes red. “Sorry,” he says gruffly.</p>
<p>“I’ll make sure Potter eats tonight.”</p>
<p>“Thank you.”</p>
<p>They don’t talk much more after that, listening to the shower running as Weasley assembles a bacon sandwich for Potter and eats his own unhappily. Charlie begins to fuss with another machine and an unfamiliar scent fills the air – Potter must be a coffee drinker – Draco realizes, as Potter comes downstairs in his Auror robes, Teddy on his hip.</p>
<p>Teddy is gurgling happily and demands to be given to Draco – “Da Co!” he squeals, plump fingers grabbing greedily – but Potter, on the hand, looks worse than when he went to sleep. His skin looks positively gray, eyes bloodshot with the redness expanding into two red rims around both eyes, his hands have a constant small shake to them. Is it Draco’s imagination, or does Potter look sharper around his cheekbones? He keeps rubbing at his chest absentmindedly, barely looking at Draco or Charlie at all, except to thank Charlie for the breakfast, and immediately sets to work on making breakfast for Teddy.</p>
<p>“Harry, why don’t you sit down, and I can do that?” Charlie suggests quietly, as Harry begins cutting up fruit, despite his shaking fingers.</p>
<p>“I think I can handle a cutting knife, Char” Harry says jokingly, but there is an aching exhaustion underneath the words that all but knocks the air out of Draco’s lungs. Once again, he tries not to intrude, entertaining Teddy.</p>
<p>“But you don’t need to. Maybe you should take a sick day, Harry, you look pretty - “</p>
<p>“Charlie, please don’t.” There is a slight firmness now. The Savior is nothing if not stubborn.</p>
<p>“I know how to make Teddy’s breakfast Harry, please, let me – “</p>
<p>Charlie puts a hand on Harry’s shoulder from behind, and Harry goes rigid, something flashing across his face that Draco can’t name. Harry gasps, dropping the knife, and the movement knocks the plate and remaining fruit onto the floor. It falls with a spectacular crash, the plate shattering. Teddy laughs, thinking the noise is a game, but Draco’s eyes remain on Harry. He has skittered back from the mess looking positively terrified, his entire body shaking, breathing hard, arms wrapped around himself.</p>
<p>Charlie moves to take a step towards Harry, but Draco stands, stopping him with his words. “Weasley,” he snaps curtly. A warning. He doesn’t know what Harry needs right now but it’s definitely not an invasion of personal space. His voice sounding angry must upset Teddy, because moments later, the baby starts to cry. Soft, tentative whines. But that alone is enough to snap Harry out of wherever he is and back to reality, because his eyes shoot to Teddy, a startled, panicked, guilty, green, and immediately he’s striding across the room, seemingly not caring or oblivious to the fact that he’s walking on shards of china in socks, even as Charlie tries to stop him.</p>
<p>He takes Teddy in his arms and the baby soothes instantly. “It’s okay Teds, it’s okay, I’ve got you, I promise. I’ve got you. I would never. I would never. I love you so much, Teddy Bear.”</p>
<p>Draco wonders whom Potter is soothing, the baby or himself, as Teddy obliviously nuzzles into Potter’s robes and Potter covers the floor in bloody footprints, seemingly not noticing. Charlie looks stricken.</p>
<p>At that moment, a Patronus flies into the living room, requesting Potter’s presence at the Ministry immediately. Something about an emergency. Potter turns to Draco with urgency in his eyes.</p>
<p>“You know about his mealtimes?”</p>
<p>“Yes, Potter, I – “</p>
<p>“And his snacks?”</p>
<p>“Yes – “</p>
<p>“And his nap schedule?”</p>
<p>“Potter I’ve looked after Teddy before. We’ll be fine.” Draco looks deep into those green eyes, trying to show Harry just how much Teddy means to him. After a moment, Harry nods, and kisses Teddy’s hair, whispering something Draco can’t hear.</p>
<p>He gives Teddy to Draco and the baby gives a little bereft cry. Potter looks back at the baby. “I’m coming back”, he says quite seriously. “I promise.”</p>
<p>Harry grabs his boots and Charlie makes a noise of protest. Draco had almost forgotten he was there. “Harry, your feet! Let me heal them first.”</p>
<p>“I’ll get them healed during the briefing.” He shoves his feet into the boots and Draco winces, it had to hurt like hell.</p>
<p>“Then you at least have to eat something – “</p>
<p>“No time,” Harry says, grabbing his jacket and his briefcase. “It’s a Level Two. They need me now.”</p>
<p>“Harry!” Charlie almost shouts, and Harry turns. They look at each other for a long moment, and Draco once again feels caught in the crossfire of something far too intimate. “Please be careful.”</p>
<p>“I promise,” Harry says, and with a crack, he’s gone. Charlie puts his head in his hands, and then looks up at Draco as if to say “See”?</p>
<p>--</p>
<p>Draco and Teddy spend a very enjoyable day together. They go to the park, they get ice cream, Draco even buys him some new toys… he knows Harry loathes “frivolous spending”, but Draco loves to spoil Teddy. Teddy has given Draco something he thought he would never have…a new start at family. He gets Teddy to bed without a hitch and makes a simple curry. He’s not the best cook, but he’s learning… and based on what Charlie’s told him…all Harry really needs is a hot, homemade meal. He wonders why Harry doesn’t let the Weasleys do more for him. Draco’s sure they would, even if Harry isn’t really family… they sure treat him like it, from what Draco’s seen… but even after Draco’s cleaned the kitchen spotless and the sky begins to turn dark and Harry still isn’t home, Draco begins to worry. Harry had owled earlier in the day to let him know he would be late, asking if Draco would mind putting Teddy to bed, but he can’t ignore the anxiety in his gut. What If something bad happened? Harry hadn’t exactly seemed at the top of his game this morning… would anyone even bother letting Draco know?</p>
<p>As nine turns to ten and ten turns to eleven, Draco gives up on trying to read. He makes three more meals and freezes them for Potter to eat later in the week. Finally, he resolves if Potter isn’t home by midnight, he’s taking Teddy and flooing to the Ministry himself, protocol be damned.</p>
<p>A little after 11:30, the Floo chimes, and Draco jumps up from the couch, only to catch Potter as he stumbles through, trying to shrug Draco off.</p>
<p>“’M fine”, he slurs. He certainly did not look fine. Harry was covered in bruises and scratches and while Draco could tell most everything serious had been healed it still made him want to beat Potter upside the head.</p>
<p>“Merlin’s beard, Potter,” whispered Draco through clenched teeth. “You said you’d be careful!”</p>
<p>Potter shrugs. “I was.”</p>
<p>Draco sets him on the couch. “You are going to stay there and eat this,” Draco says, handing him a plate of curry, “while I fix you, you idiot.”</p>
<p>Potter rolls his eyes but Draco doesn’t miss the whispered thanks. After many minutes of healing spells and some applied salve, Draco sits back. “Did you have someone heal your feet this morning?”</p>
<p>Potter doesn’t look at him. “You know”, Draco snaps, anger finally winning out, “you’re no good to Teddy if you aren’t alive.”</p>
<p>Potter’s eyes flash to his and Draco immediately realizes his mistake. Hurt and pain and shame and grief and guilt wash over them, and Draco wants to curse himself. How could he have – but Potter is already on his feet, tossing a “Screw you, Malfoy,” over his shoulder – when he staggers, trying to hide the evident pain he’s in.</p>
<p>Draco is up like a shot. “Harry,” he says cautiously. Harry doesn’t let Draco touch him, not now, but he reluctantly sits back on the couch, and removes his boots. Draco tries not to grimace at the way the blood has soaked through his socks, or the way the tissue of the bottoms of his feet is inflamed, as he imagines how painful that must have been to walk on all day. Why, Harry.</p>
<p>But instead he says nothing, as Harry’s too shiny eyes scrupulously avoid his, fingers tightening around the couch cushions every so often.</p>
<p>When Draco finally finishes, Harry clears his throat, voice gruff. “Thanks, Malfoy. I’ve got it from here.”</p>
<p>Draco can’t imagine Harry getting up the stairs on his own, with his feet so tender. “Let me help you to your bedroom at least. Don’t want you doing anything stupid.” It doesn’t even earn him a smile. God, Draco wants to kick himself.</p>
<p>“No, that’s – it’s fine. Could you just…Floo call Charlie for me please?”</p>
<p>Draco tries to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach. Charlie. Right. But he nods, standing, and brushing off his knees. “Of course.”</p>
<p>And Draco tries to pretend he doesn’t see the sweet way Charlie kisses Harry’s hair or carries him up the stairs, and the way Harry leans into him. He reminds himself he just wants to check on Teddy one more time before he leaves. He watches Teddy sleep for a long time, trying to pull himself together, trying to convince himself that this thing he’s feeling isn’t really real. And when he peeks through the crack in Harry’s door into his bedroom, he tells himself he just wants to make sure Harry's alright, but at the sight of Charlie Weasley wrapped around Harry Potter he stops cold. The sight of the small, muscular frame nestled in those big arms fills him with an anger so hot, so visceral that Draco hurriedly backs away and down into the floo before he can do something stupid. Shit. Maybe it’s time to acknowledge he really does have feelings for Harry after all.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Excited for this new series! CW: will feature recovery from war, traumatic flashbacks, as well as memories of past child abuse. Take care and know you are loved. Tags will be added as applicable!</p><p>I adore Charlie Weasley and Charlie and Harry will have a relationship, but endgame is Drarry FYI, reasons will be revealed later.</p><p>JKR sucks but I adore HP, as always BLM and trans lives matter. Please note I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters, all rights go to JK Rowling.</p><p>Comments and kudos always welcome!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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